You may have noticed that there were a few weeks between our first and second postings. Partly this was to do with working very hard over the half-term break and partly to do with the fact I haven’t been able to stop laughing since our risk assessment trip into the darkest depths of North Wales.
Let me set the scene. We were planning our summer programme and decided that we should have a day trip to North Wales and partake in several activities. A colleague of ours (lets call him Norman) had been to a centre just outside of Llangollen and completed a risk assessment for some quad biking up in the North Wales hills. We like’d Norman’s idea so we decided to see if there was anything else we could plan in. Hooray there was!!! Clay pigeon shooting, horse riding and hover-crafting it could be a grand day out. The date was set, we had booked the appointment, I had just got sat nav on my phone and Sue had just bought her super duper, ultra speedy, new car.
We set out early (who knew there were two 7:30s in a day) Sue driving over to Bolton to pick me up and we were off. As we got to the end of the motorway we were making good time (of course Sue had been keeping to the speed limit!!) I received a phone call from Eric from the centre we were planning to visit first. Apparently using the Sat Nav would lead into an empty field so he gave directions. Apparently we turn right at McDonalds, then straight onto the A4500, then something about the HSBC bank… … the car park is on the left across the road from the Quad centre. The blank bit in the middle there is the bit that I forgot!!!! We found McDonalds, the A4500 and the HSBC at which we turned right (should have gone straight on!!).
As I pointed out Sue was driving her brand spanky new car that she had only got the day previous and was having trouble reversing, not just the actual act of moving backwards but she couldn’t find the correct gear. As we turned right at the HSBC the road became very very narrow, very very very steep very very quickly and Sue was not happy to say the least. We carried on up this hill for about 5 minutes and decided that this couldn’t be the correct way. I suggested using the sat nav, even though it would put us in the middle of a field it would have to be close enough for us to find where we were going. NOT A CHANCE! The sat nav did indeed put us in the middle of a field which in turn was in the middle of another field which in turn was in the middle of another field… you can see where this is going sufficed to say there wasn’t a building in sight and it was a clear day.
We turned round, obviously not reversing as Sue couldn’t find the gear, and headed back the way we had come. Unfortunately we didn’t know which way that was! We rang Eric to see if we could get him to give us directions. The North Wales hills do not allow for very good mobile signals so we spent 10 minutes trying to get a signal then 10 minutes trying to get hold of Eric who obviously didn’t have a signal so we left a message.
As we set off again we turned up yet another hill. This was more bendy than the others and was only a single track. After about 2 minutes we rounded yet another bend and was immediately confronted by a farmer, his tractor and his sheep dog. Sue slammed on the breaks (thank which ever God you believe in for ABS!) and let out an amazingly high pitch scream. While doing this she through her arms in the air and refused move while repeatedly chanting the mantra ‘What do I do now, I can’t reverse?’. I am afraid to say that I wasn’t really any help as I couldn’t stop laughing. This problem was made worse by the fact that the farmer’s dog now decided to attack the car; running in, barking at the bumper and biting the tyres. Thankfully the farmer was only just passed a passing point so he reversed and beckoned Sue to drive forward. Every time she moved forward the dog would run in and attack the car. The farmer kept beckoning, Sue kept edging forward, the dog kept attacking the car and I kept laughing! As Sue is an ardent animal lover she really didn’t want to run the dog down so 10 minutes after our first meeting we eventually passed the now red faced farmer and his entourage (I believed he mouthed the words ‘bloody tourists!’ as we passed). As we set off up the hill again the last we saw of the debacle was the insane Border Collie chasing us up the hill as fast as his little legs would carry him.
By the time we had got to the top of this hill we finally got a signal and a message from Eric. Apparently when we left our message we were nowhere near and we’d been driving in the opposite direction for the last ten minutes! We needed to get across to Holyhead to risk assess a residential activity so decided to call it a day. We rang Eric (he didn’t have a signal so we left a message), apologised for wasting his time and turned round to head toward Anglesey. Since the day we have been told that we can’t use the centre anyway because of an insurance problem so we wouldn’t have been able to go anyway.
So we were now on our way to Anglesey…
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